- Originally written August 19th 2008
Here's something new and a little different, a TOY review! Not only that, it features the (unofficially played by me) guest, Solid Snake of the Metal Gear Solid series! [Update: I apologize in advance for the following portrayal of Snake.]
Right. I'm just here for business, so let's get on with it.
Right... So, what I'll be reviewing is actually an action figure of Snake himself. To be exact, it's based on the Metal Gear Solid game released in 1998 on the Play Station. This, along with a whole cast of main characters, were released in the same year. By now, they're a rare collector's gem. I got mine on eBay.
Mm, yeah... It's hard to find these babies in stores anymore, but you can find them online at a decent price. The latest ones sell for hundreds of dollars though, because they're popular and out of print.
Indeed! So, now that we're introduced, let's go to the figure!
All right, Snake stands at about an inch shorter than a pencil, which I find to be just the right size for an action figure. [Update: I own measuring tape now. He's actually just below 7 inches in height. D'oh.]
Okay, so, an important thing about action figures is articulation. Let's see how this figure moves.
[Update: The red labeled arm is actually a swivel joint, which is also what the joints labeled in green are. I didn't know these terms back then.]
As you can see, I color-coded which areas move in what way. It's a pretty simple setup, but an effective one. But I'm not sure why the left arm doesn't bend...
Realistic battle damage.
Clever. So, why is the headband... flowing to the right?
It's symbolism.
Uhh?
It gives the effect that I am standing in a windy area. My bandana flows in the wind, symbolizing how awesome I am.
Riiight... Well, I didn't like it, so I made a little customization to it.
As you can see here, I basically ripped it out and plugged it back in. I wouldn't advise doing this because it took a while to do, and I probably got lucky not breaking it. But yes, I think it looks better this way, so it'll be shown like that further on in these images.
I can't believe you did that...
What? It looked kind of silly just being stuck in place. And it got in the way.
Yeah. So?
Okay... Moving on!
Like many action figures, this one comes with accessories. In this case, it's stuff from the game.
The goggles. Are they thermal or night vision?
Oh, right... I really couldn't tell. I guessed thermal, but when comparing images of both sets, they looked almost identical.
And you call yourself a fan...
Hey, maybe it was intended. Like, maybe they did this so you can just imagine whichever set it is. Anyway, this is a nice set of items, let's see how they look on Snake.
[Update: You don't need to see the way they look. Gas mask is goofy, goggles are goofy, rifle and handgun are fine, and the C4 explosive can't be held in hand. There, saved you the trouble of reading lots of cheesy Snake dialogue. But to cover important bits...]
The Stinger is... Well, I'm not sure how you're supposed to hold it. It obviously fits in the left hand due to how the hands are posed, but it barely fits because the handle is so thin. I have it held by the very tip here. Anyways, it comes with a launchable missile, but I get very nervous about keeping them inside the launcher, least it go flying out and go missing.
Whoever thought lugging around huge weapons like this was a smart idea?
Someday, they'll all be compact, Snake... Someday.
As shown here, the suppressor fits perfectly on the handgun. It resembles the M9 tranquilizer from MGS2 in this state, so it's like two different guns in one!
[Update: There is also a gun holster on Snake's right leg, but all you need to know is that it doesn't have any covering in the back, so the gun basically has no way of staying in. Which leads me to think it's not meant to be used and is just for show. Who knows?]
Is that all? Are we done?
Well, have you got anything to say about the figure?
As a matter of fact, I do. They included a nice collection of my gear, but they forgot the two most important items...
What? Stealth? Stealth is technically an available item, because there's a translucent variant of the figure.
No, not that...
OH RIGHT! A cardboard box!
Exactly. Everyone knows and loves the box. Why didn't they just include one? Would it have been that hard to give the cardboard packaging a box texture with a dotted line?!
You make a good point. When I ordered this figure, I took it upon myself to make my own cardboard box for the figure, and it was made from a piece of a real cardboard box!
...
...
... However, I didn't know how big the figure would be, so...
You really don't know what you're doing, do you?
Well you don't have to be so harsh.
And you don't have to be so stupid.
... Well, that about wraps this review up! Any final thoughts, Snake?
Yeah. Next time you need a guest, leave ME out of it. Call Otacon or... something. *puts on his box and runs out*
[Final thoughts: Well, I hope you enjoyed this old review. It's where I started, and not quite the theme I continued using, but still serves as the genesis of my toy reviews. Thanks for reading!]
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